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Accetto Chudi

Mon February 20th 2023

by Matteo F.M. Sommaruga



I have not written for a while. Parties with the high society have kept me busy and I forgot about the mass of the workers exploited by the czar.  The revolution has however been a good subject of conversation to catch the attention of the upper class. Everybody is speaking about the new czar. Apparently, the revolution that I ignited one hundred years ago totally failed and has provided Russia with a new leadership model. It also appears that I am blamed for the segmentation of Holy Russia into countries now at war. That would be really sad, because I really did not have any intention to weaken my own motherland or create the premises for a civil war. Not in that sense. Better not to care about. Should intellectuals really pay attention to the consequences of their actions, or words, it would be better for us to keep silent and limit ourselves to enjoy the delicious canapés offered in socialites’ mansions. However, without theories that could attract the morbid attention of the bored bourgeoisie, I need to refresh my knowledge about the most recent political trends in Europe. It looks that anarchism does not lose its flair. After such a long period of inactivity, my thoughts are not so seductive any longer and I need a walk around the town to start to recover. Something has changed along the decades. The uneducated working class does not seem miserable anymore, if not because of their unhealthy habits. Common workers are overweight or have grown far too many muscles to afford a natural movement. Young girls and ladies of the lower social classes are covered with tattoos like Novosibirsk’s fishermen, their lips are oversized, their eyebrows are all identical. They remind me of the peasants and the factory workers of my youth just for the inelegance of their movements. It is not so relevant. What is essential is the way to manipulate the feelings of the mod. This should have not changed either and I can play it at my advantage. I actually don’t already know how to start, but if I am taking the path to the lake, I should still be able to find the Café de l’Odeon.


The young art dealer


Eventually I managed to enter the art market with a certain success. The digital company I am working for is one of the most relevant aggregators for art collectors and resellers. I mainly work remotely and a lot of travel is not really needed, if not to sign agreements with the most important galleries in London, New York, Singapore and any other big town all around the world. It is also what my boss recommended me to claim while getting in touch with collectors and potential buyers. “Praise their paintings, quote some failures of the auction houses, pretend the market is cooling down and offer them a minimal gain. If they insist that the offered price is low, tell them that the galleries must make a margin. They do not know that in this case the galleries could directly buy from them. They do not know either that the most of the profit come to us.” Actually “to them”, I would say, since I am not making such a generous profit. However, enough to live above my expectations and to feel self confident enough to be arrogant with inexperienced buyers and sellers. Perhaps they are not so inexperienced, but the aggregator I am working for is big enough to make them believe I am an expert. Only a few check on LinkedIn and find out I am not even 30 and that my only degree is in management and media by the College of West Anglia. That is, however , located in Cambridge and nobody could call me a liar if I claim that I conducted my studies not far away from Parker’s Piece of the King’s Parade. A further advantage is given by working in the DACH area. My interlocutors find themselves at a disadvantage by speaking in English, even when they pretend, on their side, to wonderfully master the language through a fake American accent. Nevertheless, I am landing in Zurich with the hope that there will be no misunderstanding with the booking of my hotel room.


The consultant, of unknown age and experience


The hotel room is wide and comfortable. It has been great that, despite no loyalty card being available, I obtained a free upgrade due to the low season. I expected there is never a low season in Zurich, since affluent billionaires are bringing their money to the local banks the whole year around. My company has however clarified that the local wealth tax is not so convenient. There is no flat-rate for billionaires. Private banking is thus a speciality of Geneva and French speaking colleagues. They, the Zurich colleagues, do not trust my French despite my studies at the University of the Saarland, my Erasmus in Lyon and my volunteering in a French-German Stammstisch, this one in Frankfurt (am Main). I am the kirchenmouse consultant from Germany, I do not speak Swiss German and I need to be happy with core banking by the local main financial institutions. I could switch to profit and loss by the insurance market, if I get lucky. It is fair enough. My company cut down so many of us in the Mainhattan, that I could consider myself more than lucky with this assignment in Zurich. No remote working from Germany is possible, due to local regulations and the understanding with the client. I should definitely move here if everything works well. Fair enough, I had no particular links to Frankfurt (am Main) and I will take advantage to see a little bit of the world. On some travel guides, it is stated that my hotel offers a great tea-time. I should profit from that as well, as long as I can still book the expenses. In a few months I will have to find an apartment by myself. If I am lucky enough to survive the assignment, by living on a salary slightly above the average, I will not be able to afford such a treatment anymore. I better go to sleep now. It will be a hard day tomorrow. I can fall asleep by dreaming about the generous breakfast waiting for me.

social social social print

In Frankfurt like Heidi, in Zuerich like Lenin

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