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Accetto Chudi

February 18th 2024

by Matteo F.M. Sommaruga


It is not so easy to reach Russia from Finland. I thought that the presence of a railway could have simplified the passage from the Western World to what has become the Chinese block. Without realising that, Putin has put Russia again under the control of the Mongols. Perhaps it is also my fault. The czars would have never allowed that. They would have never sealed the allegiance with radical muslims either. It is very sad. After all, I was called the Mongol by some of my opponents and my Comrade Stalin also came from a remote area of the Empire, leaning to the East. Hopefully the Russian population will find the boldness to rebel once again and dethrone the current tyrant, who is even an illegitimate one. This is however not my business anymore. I have become the bonhomme Lenin, as tourists began to nickname me after a visit to the museum. I only need to survive these days with the money left to me and reach Moscow, where I will be able to reply to all the questions I conceived in my mind. I received news from my friends who were in Zurich. They told me that an art dealer is tracking me and is approaching faster and faster. It is surprising how so many professions can prepare the right ground to collect information, while the police can hardly organise a network of trustworthy informers. After all, policemen, even when earnest and motivated, are public employees waiting for a salary and dreaming of some action. They are able to conduct the standard job only. Perhaps it is worth waiting for the art gallerist here in Helsinki. He can provide some justification for crossing the borders and help me further. I don’t expect him to be affluent. Art is a place for impostors.



The art dealer

I am getting closer and closer to my targets. Perhaps instead of working in an art gallery I should have chased burglars. Those kinds of aristocratic thieves, romantically exalted by communist authors, who limit their action to paintings and sculptures. After all Lenin was a criminal as well, who stole much more than material belongings to the Russian people: he deprived Russians of their own soul. It can be interesting to stay in front of him, arguing about his political achievements and thoughts without being enchanted. Yet the human mind can be impressed even by the most simple individuals, who conceal behind their mask, the most sophisticated brain. It can be the case of Bill Traylor, whose genius was revealed to the art market only around forty years ago. Perhaps because of the prejudices of the American elites towards their so-called Afro-American minority. An attitude that the foolishness of the whole movement will only worsen. Bill Traylor's works remind me of Shrigley’s creation. With the difference that Bill was the first of his genre, anticipating for decades the superflat style nowadays so much appreciated. His hand was the most genuine and he would have deserved more material comfort than he received. Yet, being the father of fifteen children and having lived for more than ninety years in an era when the average was much lower, made him the most successful man. Not to forget his legacy. Main partners of international consultancies, those who waste their money on Rolex and Porsche, will not leave this world with more, but with much less. Synthesised in a superficial slide, well sold to the client. My train is reaching Helsinki's station. I have never been in the town before. I know I need to look for “keskusta” and “ravintola”.



The consultant

I decided that I need to catch up with Lenin, or whoever he could be, as soon as possible. Alfred von Pazze allowed me to bring Heidi's book with me. He will contact some museums along my path. They will show the book for a day, thus justifying my tour, which will be even sponsored, for what concerns the expenses, by the museum of Hirzel. According to Alfred there would be no better way to promote the institution and he is aware that I will not exaggerate with hols and restaurants. I will also travel by train, to avoid any inconvenience at the check-in with such precious luggage I am carrying with me. I am aware that the other two are proceeding faster, especially that British art gallerist that for some reason has also dedicated to meet the Father of the Soviet Union. Given the effects of Murphy's law on mysterious and international intrigues, I even got a sudden cough, mixed with fever and many other unpleasant symptoms. I am however too excited to stop and Alfred’s support is further motivating me. From Zurich there is a train to Berlin more than once a day. It could take half a day, but it is not too long if I consider that the next steps will be to reach Helsinki. My experience with Scandinavia, matured during a huge business transformation with a group of main Northern European banks, suggests to me instead to avoid the German capital. In the same amount of time, I can travel as far as Copenahgen, by changing my train in Hamburg. From Copenhagen, I can easily reach Oslo, Stockholm and, from there, perhaps by Ferry, Helsinki. It could take a week, but it is worth the risk. I would avoid crossing the Polish borders with a Lenin’s manuscript with me.

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In Frankfurt like Heidi, in Zuerich like Lenin

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