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Accetto Chudi

February 25th 2024

by Matteo F.M. Sommaruga



Even by looking like Lenin, it is really hard to cross the borders with Russia. They are moreover celebrating the second year of a civil war, at least from the perspective of the founder of the Soviet Union. Without realising it, Putin has played the international chess game  according to the American and Chinese rules. By the end of the conflict, NATO will be stronger than ever, independently by insignificant local gains in Crimea or on the Ukrainian borders. Russia will be depleted of her own forces and will become a satellite of China, bringing back the clock to the time when Alexander Nevskij was born. I really would like to visit him in his office, just to express my disappointment for his conduct. Perhaps this is the last duty that I must fulfil before disappearing once again. It is however nice to stroll around Helsinki. The city has been developed quite a lot since my last visit at the beginning of the XX century. There are also some curious attractions that could help me to fill my knowledge gap accumulated in decades of eternal sleep. There was not too much to be seen, in my Mausoleum on the Red Square. People who visited always looked the same, the same stupid faces of bureaucracy grown up pretending to learn Marx and Lenin in exchange for a free tour to Moscow. I find much more enlightening the local museum of design and I am fascinated by the captivating glance of those Angry Birds. Perhaps even more than by the Alvar Aalto architecture. In the afternoon I am invited for tea in a design hotel in the city centre. I will enjoy the company of a British art gallerist who, for some reason, clearly understood who I am.



The art dealer


While travelling, the art market is moving as well and Taschen is going to release its frst book dedicated to NFT Art. I am sure it will acquire some value with the time, but my only concern right now is to meet up with Lenin. I have got many questions in mind, so many that I am sure that he will conjure some of his tricks and I will end up answering him whatever he will try to extract from my memories. Hopefully he is not powerful enough to kidnap me and bring me to Lubyanka. According to my informers, he should have not gotten in contact with any major communist organisation. The only sponsor he has received so far, comes from acquaintances in the leftist circles of Zurich. Those are far too busy with the week of the black art or by teaching young women how to abort. Beside the most destructive aspects of the liberal culture, they should be totally unfit to ignite a new revolution. About their understanding of Karl Marx writings, it should not go beyond the title and a brief summary appeared in one of their newspapers full of lies and propaganda. The place I chose for my first encounter with Lenin should be appealing to most of today's leftist and could be disgusting for the most classical communists. It is indeed a cafe quite fully decorated with sketches and drawings signed by Tom of Finland. That means an artist, an excellent one, whose oeuvre is centred on men dressed like American gay motorrider. His aesthetic is fabulous and goes far beyond the subject matter. I am curious about Lenin’s reaction.



The consultant


I am sitting alone in a hotel in the centre of Helsinki. It’s a pity that it is so modern and so excessively decorated by busts and portraits of voluptuous male bikers. The atmosphere is so liberal, that even without looking into the menu, I can imagine one of those boring and stupid vegan only choices. Last time I visited the town, I enjoyed the taste of reindeer, once even of bear meat. Although the latter one was not worth the price. I hope that Lenin has not been brainwashed by some vegetarian leaflet yet, because, if it is the choice of the place, he should have already begun to support the multiple keyboard letters movement. Or perhaps it is the choice of the art dealer that was tracking him. Yet, I would have never expected to reach Helsinki so fast by train. The German Railways worked so well that I did not even feel the need to travel to Copenhagen. That was delightful. Especially when I left the train wagons to find myself on a ferry. That is not my first experience, but I always enjoy the fresh air of the sea in the North. Especially during the summer days, when it is hot enough to have a bath. When I worked in Copenhagen, there were several places in the city centre where it was possible to spring into the channels and refresh myself with a water clear enough to be drinkable. Hopefully Denmark will not register a flop along her green path, as many other European nations are doing. Danish politics has however got solid social-democratic DNA and it should be resistant against the sectarian methodology of communists. It is a pity I could not visit the town this time, although I enjoyed my rest and a private tour through the halls of the art museum. The same I did in Hamburg, Oslo and Stockholm. Overall seven days of paid holidays that I cannot deny I enjoyed.

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In Frankfurt like Heidi, in Zuerich like Lenin

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